Dad Joke
by The Dementors Dinner Party
Summary: One night, they decide to play Truth or Dare... and now they have to deal with the consequences. In other words, the fanfic where Harry calls Sirius 'Dad'.


**Hello! Welcome back to another one of my stories! You will probably ignore this but I will write this anyway. Neither I nor the disclaimer owns Harry Potter. Hope you like this!**

Harry James Potter wasn't really sure how he ended up on a bedroom floor of the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, sitting cross legged and watching Ron lick the floor. Ron reared his head up and shook it, his tongue hanging out as he made gagging noises. He glared heatedly at his laughing, older twin brothers.

"I ha'te ew," He said, getting up and heading to the bathroom to rinse out his mouth.

Oh yeah. Now he remembered. Fred and George were both bored and the Order was in a meeting downstairs. As all of their eavesdropping devices had been stolen (courtesy of Mrs Weasley and Professor McGonagall's combined forces), they had nothing left to do but moan and groan and whine on the floor. At first, Harry had found it a little amusing to watch them roll around on his and Ron's bedroom floor. But after a while, they're noises were bothering his desperate attempt at finishing his Potions essay before bed.

Hermione and Ginny both heard the commotion and got up to take a look at what the boys were up too. It was all Ginny's idea to start this game and after some coaxing from Ron, Harry had all but begrudgingly joined in. He knew this game very well. It was from the darker parts of his childhood with the Dursley family.

The one time Dudley had allowed him in on a game…

Ron returned, glaring and red in the face, from the bathroom. He plopped down hard on the floor next to Hermione. He looked right at Harry and bit out, " _Truth_ or _Dare_?"

Oh yeah. It had been _Harry's_ idea for him to lick the floor. He thought about it for a while, pondering his choices. Neither truth nor dare was a safe option with a vengeful Ronald Weasley. But perhaps he deserved the revenge. Might as well get it over with now than later, before suspense could kill him.

"Dare," He said.

Ron smirked and sighed, staring at the ceiling in thought. After a while, he let out a groan.

"I don't know what to say. We've used up all the good ones! We even had Ginny pretend to cry because she thought she heard the Department of Mysteries said that aliens aren't real!"

"Aliens _are_ real," Ginny argued back, "I wouldn't have listened to that rubbish news in _real life_. You made me totally OOC there!"

"Fred and I are also sure aliens are real. We saw a UFO when we were your age," Fred looked right at Ginny.

"George," Ginny groaned.

Fred placed his hand over his heart, "I'm not George! _He's_ George!"

"Merlin's beard, not again!" She groaned.

"Our own sister!" Fred gasped.

"Truely heart wrenching," George wiped away an invisible tear.

"Everyone, shut up!" Ron barked, "I'm trying to focus!" His eyes widened and then he smirked, "Oh! I've got one. Harry, I dare you… to call Sirius 'Dad'. Like casually. Just ask him something. Make sure you slip 'Dad' in that sentence."

"What!?" Harry said, eyes widening, "Come on!"

"Do it. You let me lick the floor."

"Ron-"

" _You let me lick the floor._ "

Harry stared at him in disbelief. Then he sighed in defeat, standing up, "You know that the Order probably realised we're playing Truth or Dare by now. Especially after Hermione said the alphabet backwards and _Dumbledore_ _joined in_."

"It won't change the fact that it's gonna be hysterical," Ron grinned, "This is revenge, Potter. Take it."

Promising himself to put a fake spider in Ron's bed before he went to bed for the next three nights, Harry made the dreaded walk to the kitchen. He could hear people following him and didn't even bother turning around to see who it was. He could hear Fred and George snickering behind him and Ron telling them to shush.

Finally, he stood before the kitchen door. He turned around and glared at the group behind him one last time before turning around again and opening the door without knocking. The meeting fell silent. He could see Bill slump tiredly in his seat, anticipating whatever shenanigans he and the others cooked up. Charlie sat forward in anticipation, though. Professor Lupin sighed, letting his face fall into his hand.

Harry hadn't been one of them who had to make a trip down here yet. They were obviously figuring whatever he was about to do was going to be _ridiculous._ And it was exactly that. He walked close enough to his godfather and felt himself freezing up at what he was about to do. What was he gonna say? He hadn't given that much thought. He was just gonna stand there and look weird for a long time?

Then he heard it. Loud snickering from the door, coming from Ron. Oh really now? He was going to show him. Looking Sirius Black right in the eye, he said without his face cracking, "Sorry to interrupt, Dad, but just wanted you to know this dumb game ends now."

Everyone in the room blinked. At the same time. Charlie snorted, his face turning red and fell face forward, shoulders shaking from laughter. Bill looked at his brother, raising an eyebrow. Mrs Weasley looked like she was facing an identity crisis and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled annoyingly. Professor Lupin smirked behind his hand, sneaking a look at Sirius' expressionless face. Harry was starting to fear for his life as the same, blank look from his godfather stayed there.

"Thank you for informing me, son. Now if you'll excuse me, Dad's got things to work out with the Order of the Phoenix." Sirius winked.

Harry heard someone collapse at the door, followed by the sounds of laughter from both the order and his ex-friends. As soon as the laughter died down, Harry gave a mock salute.

"Later Dad," He said as he left the room.

The laughter started up again. Sirius shook his head and couldn't help the smile climbing onto his face. Remus nudged him in the side with his elbow.

"I wonder what James would think of this," He laughed.

Sirius paled, smile dropping off his face. Hopefully James is ok with this, though. It was only a one time thing.

It wasn't a 'one time thing' at all. The day after everything happened, Ginny had come up to Harry and asked "Do you know where your Dad is? I need to ask him something."

"Probably with Buckbeak," Harry said without thinking, too busy staring at a doxy on the ceiling.

She laughed and ran out of the room, screaming for Fred and George.

Then at breakfast, Tonks had it in for her cousin.

"Tell your son to eat more," She said, "He barely touched his food."

Sirius only glared at her until she looked away.

It just so happened that Sirius and Harry were both sitting in the living room on break from cleaning when Hermione walked into the room.

"Hey Harry. Have you seen my essay on the Transfiguration homework McGonagall gave us? The one on turning still objects into still life?"

Harry paled, "Oh… uh. Yeah. Funny story 'bout that. A doxy landed on the desk and ripped it up."

"What!?" She shouted, her eyes widening.

"Sorry! It wasn't as if I _wanted_ it to do that!"

She turned to Sirius, "Sirius. I expect you to tell your son exactly why he wouldn't be using _my_ work as inspiration for his essays."

She turned and left the room, both wizards blinking after her. There was silence for a while before Sirius spoke up.

"She's right. Do your own work from now on, son."

Harry groaned, head falling into his hands. Two could play at that game! He got up from the couch, "Right on it, Dad."

After that, it became a recurrent joke. Harry greeted Sirius as 'Dad' whenever they passed each other in the halls and Sirius would call him 'son' whenever the conversation allowed it. As time went on, it was a natural part of their conversation. Ginny, Fred and George started a conspiracy theory that Harry and Sirius didn't even _know_ they were doing it. Ron and Hermione became more and more convinced as the days went on.

But whatever was happening, it granted the rest of Grimmauld Place a bit of joy to see Sirius leave Buckbeak's room more and more to spend time with the others, if only to call Harry 'son' whenever he could. And Harry seemed more relaxed, reverting back to his old self every now and then. Remus was especially happy they were finally going back to normal.

But then… Sirius _had_ to start with the dad jokes.

 **Hope you liked this. It isn't much and I ran out of ideas by the end. But if you want me to write another added chapter? I could? Try? Anyway, peace out and PLEASE REVIEW!**


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